Introducing….The Wearable Towel

It comes in 3 colors, costs only $20, and makes you look like the suburban douchebag that you are.  Well..if you wear it I mean.  Move over Snuggie.

Via Geekologie

Michael Jackson’s father continues to pimp out his record label

Joe Jackson might the most opportunistic douchebag in history.  That covers a lot of ground, people.  Fresh off his bizarre interview at the BET Awards where he plugged his new record label, Joe couldn’t help but plug is record label again while at a press conference.

Why is Al Sharpton on the stage?  Nevermind, there’s cameras around……

“Kush Support-A Natural Rest for the Breast”

What. The. Hell?

Via Geekologie

Ridiculous Cleveland news broadcast about a bear in a neighborhood

The reporter decides to utilize some props to help viewers get an idea what a bear in the backyard looks like.

Belgian girl claims she asked for 3 tattoos, but woke up with 56

Yes, somehow this girl “fell asleep” while getting her face poked with a tattoo removal and instead of the 3 stars she claims she asked for, she ended up with 56.  Either way, why would you mutilate your face with even 3?  Something stinks in this story…….Oh, also, look at the pretty tattoo artist.

Blockbuster alert: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

Must.  See.

You know it’s time to lose some weight when….

Public Service Announcements from the Swine flu of 1976-Somehow the world didn’t end then either

Keep in mind, while watching this, that there was 1 death from the swine flu of 1976, and 30+ deaths from the swine flu shot. Back in 1976, the U.S. government had to produce these ominous public service announcements on their own.  These days, the media handles that part of it.

Swine flu “Patient Zero” finally identified.

The Chum Master thinks the swine flu is yet another overhyped, media-driven pseudo crisis, but even he had to chuckle at the above image.

Thanks to Mikey for sending this in.

Calm down people: Swine flu 1976-1 death from the flu, 30+ deaths from the vaccination

Some much needed perspective for the latest media-induced “health crisis.”

Mass vaccinations started in October, but within weeks reports started coming in of people developing Guillain-Barré syndrome, a paralyzing nerve disease, right after taking the shot. Within two months, 500 people were affected, and more than 30 died. Amid a rising uproar and growing public reluctance to risk the shot, federal officials abruptly canceled the program Dec. 16.

Read the full article at Wired.