Heading to Denny’s after an evening of drinking or drugging, now that’s unheard of……
Man Attempts To Amputate Own Arm In Denny’s
MODESTO – (CBS13/AP) ― Modesto police say a local man who tried to cut off his own arm at a Denny’s restaurant thought he had injected air into one of his veins while shooting cocaine and would die unless he took drastic action.
The man, identified by police as Michael Lasiter, 33, rushed into the restaurant on Friday night and started stabbing himself in the right arm with a butter knife he grabbed from a customer’s table, police say. When that knife didn’t work, Lasiter allegedly took a butcher knife from the kitchen and dug it into his arm.
Lasiter, who was subdued with a taser and taken to a local hospital with severe cuts, told officers he thought he needed to amputate his arm to keep himself from dying from the cocaine injection, says Modesto police Sgt. Brian Findlen.
The Denny’s closed for the night after the incident.
The extraordinary condition is caused by a fault in Brenden’s DNA and he is the only person in the world known to suffer from it.
His 12th chromosome broke off during embryonic development, flipped around and reattached itself upside down, disrupting a gene that controls growth.
This caused his bones to stretch to extreme proportions.
For the last six months Brenden has stopped growing thanks to Gad Kletter, an endocrinologist at Seattle’s Swedish Hospital, who treated him with high doses of testosterone to help him begin puberty early.
This accelerated the process by which the growth plates at each end of human bones naturally close themselves off.
Dr Parisi said: ‘Before treatment, he was on a trajectory that was still taking him up and up, rather than reaching a plateau.
‘Plotting his growth curve, we think he would have been over eight feet now’.
I still think this isn’t as funny as some of the Obama parodies, or even as funny as a pro-Obama video, but hey, it’s still got some good points, and I like to consider myself an equal-opportunity offender who is solidly opposed to both candidates for President this election. John McCain makes me more than a wee bit nervous when it comes to war. He makes G-Dub seem like John Lennon. No, seriously.
We posted a band from Norway’s rockabilly cover of Europe’s The Final Countdown earlier this month. Now, we present possibly the worst cover, of a bad song to begin with, ever. No idea of who this band is or where they’re playing. You must watch all of it. It’s hypnotically bad. The famous synthesizer part sounds like it’s played on a Fisher Price “My First Keyboard.” Seriously, watch the whole thing. You’ll thank me.
These girls had permission from both the Denver City Attorney David Fine and Denver Deputy Chief of Police John Lamb. to write chalk messages on public sidewalks during the Democratic National Convention. Apparently someone forgot to relay that message to officers in the field. Even though they didn’t, one wonders what the security threat is of a couple of tiny girls writing on the sidewalk in chalk. I’m sure the good people of Denver felt much safer after those girls were arrested. One thing the Denver PD can’t be accused of is political bias. The teens arrested here were protesting abortion policies, but earlier this week the police knocked the living hell out a protester from Code Pink, a group opposed to the Iraq War. Right-wing, left-wing……as long as they can be violently arrested and justify the Denver PD’s overtime, it doesn’t matter.
Also arrested was Rev. Patrick Mahoney, who was further threatened with felony prosecution for “leading” the event.
Constitutional law……now there’s a good course for police cadets to learn preferably before “Tazering 101” and “Deny, Deny, Deny-A Policeman’s Guide to Protecting His Fellow Officers’ Butts.”
Watch the menacing “Sidewalk Sisters” get taken down before detonating their chalk bombs.
Now this is an Obama song I can really stand behind. (if you don’t see why Obama’s theme is set to the anthem of the former U.S.S.R., you should crack open some books and read about socialism…you might start to draw some parallels with Lord Obama’s policy ideas.)
I’ll gladly run some McCain parody stuff as well if someone can send it in.
“I vomited, then crapped, and was waiting for the second wave of vomit….and that was just 30 seconds in….,” Jon.
That pretty much sums up this debacle. Even the most enthusiastic Obama supporter would have a hard time getting excited over this. Set aside the subpar lyrics, b-list lip synchers, and the pathetic comparison between Obama and MLK, Jr., it just doesn’t mean anything. I mean, it’s a bunch of poor metaphors that attempt to sound deep, but really add up to nothing. Ohhhh…….oh…yeah, ok, now I see why this is an Obama video.
Your Daily Chum 