As we mentioned in our story about Oompa Loompas being allowed to attend a high school prom, Oompa Loompas everywhere are riding a wave of enthusiasm and hope as society’s barriers continue to fall for the once maligned orange-skinned people. Excitement was in the air as the nation’s first chapter of F.O.O.L.S (Friends of Oompa Loompas Society) had its opening meeting last night at (name withheld by request of owner), a local restaurant in New York City. While turnout did not meet expectations, F.O.O.L.S president and charter member, Jessica Scrote de Amor, said she was pleased that a restaurant agreed to host the event.
“The fact that (name withheld by request of owner) proudly hosted this event shows how far we Oompa Loompas have come. Considering the discrimination we’ve faced in the past, the treatment we’ve received here shows that more and more people are becoming F.O.O.L.S.”
John D. Bag, pictured above, wasn’t as enthusiastic about the meeting, eventually admitting that he and his girlfriend, pictured above, opposite John, had literally, stumbled upon the F.O.O.L.S. meeting.
“Dude, we were drunk off our asses that night. We heard this high-pitched voice singing Nickelback in the back room,” Bag said. He continued, “We walked in thinking we could do some karaoke and hit a helium tank. Out of nowhere this orange freak comes at us, snapping pictures. We tried to get away, but she offered us chocolate and candy to pose for pictures with us. I eventually figured out she was an Oompa Loompa. Those freaks scare me, man.”
Thanks to our friends at HotChickswithDouchebags.com for providing us with this news tip.