WASHINGTON—African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation’s broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, “It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can’t catch a break.”
Special offer for those of you looking to get your McCain (in)Action figures. Act now and you’ll get a free Obama bobblehead thrown in. User submission, so no context, but seriously, would you actually buy one anyway? Sent in by Izzy.
**Your Daily Chum Special Offer**
Order now and we’ll throw in the limited edition McCain figure below. This special figurine, “Post-Concession Speech” comes from the “Restraining the Maverick” collection and intimately captures the moments immediately following McCain’s speech to his sheeple after losing to Barack Obama in the U.S. Presidential election. Limited quantities remain of other top-sellers from the “Restraining the Maverick” series: “F**king Child Looked at Me Funny” and “McCain Spots the Nuclear Suitcase.” Act now and bring home these collectibles today!
Oneupweb is a digital marketing agency located in Traverse City, Michigan. The company was supporting Barack Obama in the U.S. Presidential election this year. After having multiple Obama/Biden campaign signs stolen from their property, Oneup employees decided to craft a campaign sign that couldn’t be stolen. People of the world, listen to me now: Never screw with techies. They will take their revenge in ways you and I will never conceptualize. This is one of the most clever collective middle-fingers I’ve seen in sometime.
The Daily Chum is no fan of Obama’s policies, but we hate any form of political intimidation or attempts to suppress others’ right of political expression. Douchebags of all parties: stop screwing with people’s campaign propaganda.
Via The Dogg, who’s been down with The Chum Master since ’88.
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