Posts Tagged ‘Denny’s Restaurant’

“Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny’s”

June 10, 2009

The Onion News Network scoops the competition once again.

Obama will abandon complex policies on emissions, clean coal and refocus on achievable goals like applying deodorant daily, learning what to say when you burp.

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Man attempts to amputate his arm at Denny’s. Mmmmm…..Moons over My Hammy

August 31, 2008

Heading to Denny’s after an evening of drinking or drugging, now that’s unheard of……

Man Attempts To Amputate Own Arm In Denny’s
MODESTO – (CBS13/AP) ― Modesto police say a local man who tried to cut off his own arm at a Denny’s restaurant thought he had injected air into one of his veins while shooting cocaine and would die unless he took drastic action.

The man, identified by police as Michael Lasiter, 33, rushed into the restaurant on Friday night and started stabbing himself in the right arm with a butter knife he grabbed from a customer’s table, police say. When that knife didn’t work, Lasiter allegedly took a butcher knife from the kitchen and dug it into his arm.

Lasiter, who was subdued with a taser and taken to a local hospital with severe cuts, told officers he thought he needed to amputate his arm to keep himself from dying from the cocaine injection, says Modesto police Sgt. Brian Findlen.

The Denny’s closed for the night after the incident.

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