Belgian girl claims she asked for 3 tattoos, but woke up with 56

Yes, somehow this girl “fell asleep” while getting her face poked with a tattoo removal and instead of the 3 stars she claims she asked for, she ended up with 56.  Either way, why would you mutilate your face with even 3?  Something stinks in this story…….Oh, also, look at the pretty tattoo artist.

Bling: an expensive way to show you have no taste

Long live The Chive! The pics below are from their feature “Rappers Look Lke Idiots with Bling.”

See the full feature here.

Guido androgyny

What the hell is going on in New Jersey these days?

Via The Chive

Woman attempts to win Mother of the Year AND Best Mugshot of 2009

Meet Nicole Marty, a 25 yr. old Long Island mother who was arrested for allegedly being high when she crashed her car into a telephone pole, injuring her 9 yr. old daughter.  Say ‘Cheese!’

Via The Smoking Gun

Flare gun fail. Why can’t natural selection work?

Take a few idiots, throw in a flare gun, and it’s fodder for this blog.

The Goatee Saver makes looking like a 1990’s date-rapist even easier.

Was that too over the top?  Order this product so you can protect the “individuality” that your goatee represents.

Verizon Math Fail

I’m glad this guy recorded this.

Courtesy of Mikey.  I’m now rewarding him with .0005 Chum Bucks.

Being loaded and forcibly kissing other attorneys is no way to go through life, son. Err..sorry, judge.

You’re a real f***wit, drunk judge tells lawyer
by ROSS MCGUINNESS – Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A drunk district judge was thrown out of a courtroom after she forcibly kissed a solicitor and swore at a prosecutor.

Esther Cunningham drank brandy before appearing as a solicitor to represent her cousin in a dangerous dog case.

She told an usher to ‘f*** off’ and called the CPS lawyer ‘a f***wit’, the Solicitors’ Disciplinary Tribunal heard.

Six months later, the 54-year-old was drunk when she taught students on a legal course, the tribunal heard.

Cunningham, of Grantham, Lincolnshire, accepted she had a drink problem and blamed it on personal problems.

She admitted bringing her profession into disrepute two years ago and was suspended for six months with £6,200 costs.

Via Metro

Fox & Friends+naked skier guy+talk of a Vaseline sponsorship=win

I do believe you can become more intelligent by watching these morning shows….watch this clip and you’ll feel smarter already.

2008 Douchies-See the biggest Douchebags of 2008

From one of our favorite blogs, Hot Chicks with Douchebags, comes the 2008 Douchies. These awards highlight the biggest douchebags of 2008. Here’s just a small sampling, and be sure to check out the full list at Hot Chicks with Douchebags, a must read for everyone looking for a good laugh.

**Warning:  Doctors draw a strong parallel between staring at the sun and staring at these douchebags; while both may cause blindness, only these douchebags can transfer STD’s with their gaze.  You’ve been warned.**

Hot Chick with Douchebag of the Year:The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott

Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver: Mouth-Shirt Ab Reveal

Douchiest Facial Hair: The Blowfish

Orangest Orange: Millenium ‘Bag

Full list of awards here.