Eminem and Jimmy Kimmel team up for a hot single, “Briefcase Joe.”

“Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny’s”

The Onion News Network scoops the competition once again.

Obama will abandon complex policies on emissions, clean coal and refocus on achievable goals like applying deodorant daily, learning what to say when you burp.

Public Service Announcements from the Swine flu of 1976-Somehow the world didn’t end then either

Keep in mind, while watching this, that there was 1 death from the swine flu of 1976, and 30+ deaths from the swine flu shot. Back in 1976, the U.S. government had to produce these ominous public service announcements on their own.  These days, the media handles that part of it.

Swine flu “Patient Zero” finally identified.

The Chum Master thinks the swine flu is yet another overhyped, media-driven pseudo crisis, but even he had to chuckle at the above image.

Thanks to Mikey for sending this in.

Fox & Friends+naked skier guy+talk of a Vaseline sponsorship=win

I do believe you can become more intelligent by watching these morning shows….watch this clip and you’ll feel smarter already.

Attractive Girls Union refuses to talk with Mike Greenman

Hard-hitting coverage from The Onion News Network.  Mike Greenman isn’t making any inroads with the Attractive Girls Union (AGU).  Footage and analysis from the press conference.  1 NSFW word around the 3:00 mark.  Very funny stuff.

Obama Vows to Stop America’s Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas

Brad Garrett Tries to Offend Entire Cast and Crew of “Fox and Friends”

Oh man, this is funny stuff. I love equal opportunity offenders. A bit long, but he offends the whole way through.

430 New Demographics that Will Determine the 2008 Presidential Election

The Onion dissects the key demographics that will determine the winner of the 2008 U.S. Presidential election. Gotta lock up those votes!

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog visits the Republican National Convention