Posts Tagged ‘Media’

Fun with plastic and a lighter

June 30, 2009

Those plastic see-through cd’s that come in spindles of blanks can be so much fun when you just add a lighter to the equation.

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Swine flu “Patient Zero” finally identified.

April 28, 2009

doomed

The Chum Master thinks the swine flu is yet another overhyped, media-driven pseudo crisis, but even he had to chuckle at the above image.

Thanks to Mikey for sending this in.

Brad Garrett Tries to Offend Entire Cast and Crew of “Fox and Friends”

September 13, 2008

Oh man, this is funny stuff. I love equal opportunity offenders. A bit long, but he offends the whole way through.

Portrayal Of Obama As Snob Hailed As Step Forward For Blacks

September 4, 2008

The Onion News Network is on the case!

The Onion: Cosmo completes study on how to please your man

August 7, 2008

Very informative with possible Nobel prize implications.  The Onion News hosts dead-on portrayal of those vapid, empty-headed morning hosts on every major network deserves some type of award.

The Onion: Time Magazine publishes definitive Obama puff piece

July 22, 2008

The equivalent of a Pulitzer should be awarded to the major news networks after this election for avoiding any real type of journalism or investigation of Barack Obama. The line between truth and fiction is growing so thin that the Onion might not be necessary one day.

TheOnion.com

NEW YORK—Hailed by media critics as the fluffiest, most toothless, and softest-hitting coverage of the presidential candidate to date, a story in this week’s Time magazine is being called the definitive Barack Obama puff piece.

One twelfth of the light, glossy, groundbreaking surface-level feature.

“No news publication has dared to barely scratch the surface like this before,” columnist and campaign reporter Michael King wrote in The Washington Post Tuesday. “This profile sets a benchmark for mindless filler by which all other features about Sen. Obama will now be judged. Just impressive puff-journalism all around.”

The 24-page profile, entitled “Boogyin’ With Barack,” hit newsstands Monday and contains photos of the candidate as a baby, graduating from Columbia University, standing and laughing, holding hands with his wife and best friend, Michelle, greeting a crowd of blue-collar autoworkers, eating breakfast with diner patrons, and staring pensively out of an airplane window while a pen and legal pad rest comfortably on his lowered tray table.

According to political analysts, the Time piece features the most lack-of-depth reporting on Obama ever published, and for the first time reveals a number of inconsequential truths about the candidate, including how he keeps in shape on the campaign trail, and which historical figures the presidential hopeful would choose to have dinner with.

“The sheer breadth of fluff in this story is something to be marveled at,” New York Times Washington bureau chief Dean Baquet said. “It’s all here. Favorite books, movies, meals, and seasons of the year ranked one through four. Sure, we asked Obama what his favorite ice cream was, but Time did us one better and asked, ‘What’s your favorite ice cream, really?'”

Time managing editor Rich Stengel said he was proud of the Obama puff piece, and that he hoped it would help to redefine the boundaries of journalistic drivel.

“When the American people cast their vote this November, this is the piece of fluff they’re going to remember,” Stengel said. “Not the ones by Newsweek, Harper’s, The New Yorker, The Atlantic, The New Republic, The Economist, Nightline, The Wall Street Journal, or even that story about lessons Obama learned from his first-grade teacher we ran a month ago.”

The article, which follows Obama for 12 days during his campaign, was written by reporter Chris Sherwood, and is relentless in its attempt to capture the candidate at his most poised and polished. Sherwood said the profile easily trumps all other fluff pieces in its effort to expose the presidential candidate for who he really is: “an awesome guy.”

“My editors told me that if I wanted to uncover the most frivolous, trivial information on Obama, I had to be prepared to follow the puff,” Sherwood said. “That meant that not only did I have to stay and watch Sen. Obama play endless games of basketball with city firemen to show readers how athletic and youthful he is, but I also had to go to NBA shooting experts to learn what aspects of his jump shot are good and what parts are great.”

Sherwood said he was granted full access to the candidate, and was permitted by chief strategist David Axelrod to ask any question he desired—an opportunity the reporter used to lob the easiest softballs at Obama yet, ranging from how happy he felt when he met his wife to what songs are currently on his iPod playlist. Sherwood was also fearless in his effort to paint the candidate as someone who is “surprisingly down to earth,” a phrase that is used a total of 26 times throughout the feature.

“If we were going to get the story we wanted, it was my responsibility as a journalist to ask the really tough questions to his two young daughters,” said Sherwood, who grilled Malia and Sasha Obama, 9 and 7, about whether they were “proud of [their] daddy.” “I also had to capitalize on every opportunity to compare the story of Obama’s upbringing and rise to power to that of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s and John F. Kennedy’s, no matter how suspect those parallels really are.”

According to the Time reporter, work on the profile was often harder than he had anticipated, with Obama at times dodging questions about whether or not he played a musical instrument, and about what Monopoly piece he thought best represented his candidacy and why.

“Situations like these are when you have to get on the phone and talk, not only to his mother, but to his aunt, his uncle, a Boy Scout leader, or maybe even one of his camp counselors growing up,” Sherwood said. “And if they don’t return your call, you turn to Sunday school teachers and former babysitters—anyone who is willing to go on record and say that Barack Obama was a really good kid who was destined for great things.”

Added Sherwood, “It’s all about getting the factoids out in the open.”

Readers have so far responded favorably to the piece, with sales of the latest issue of Time nearly tripling that of an issue last month featuring a 36-page exposé that tore apart and vilified former candidate Hillary Clinton’s health-care plan.

“I’m not quite sure how he intends to turn around the economy or get us out of Iraq,” said California resident Geoff Mills, an ardent Obama supporter who read the Time story. “But any man who prefers his steak cooked medium-rare has my vote.”

Farkitrol: Conquer your unreasonable fears

July 8, 2008

The entire world is fucked up and you’re going to die. Farkitrol® keeps everything in proper perspective.

About Farkitrol®

Farkitrol® was created as a treatment for Media Dischordia combined with Media Sterilitus – a deadly combination of scattered and boring facts which atrophys the brain and causes dependency on sub-standard channels for information nutrition.

When combined with common sense and basic human awareness, Farkitrol® can greatly decrease the reliance on the only three sources available in the Mainstream Media for predigested, highly editorialized, commercial “news” and allows for a broader understanding of why certain information seems to show up again and again in the Mainstream Media. Farkitrol® may be habit forming. Ask your doctor or the guys in your company’s IT department about the potential side effects of Farkitrol®, such as snarkiness, immediate detection of bullshit, and the inability to see the “news” reported on mainstream news networks as anything other than what it is – commercially viable infotainment broadcast exclusively for the purpose of keeping your attention long enough to advertise products at you.

For Beach Depression/Shark Mania (BDSM)

For Missing White Girl Syndrome


For Dangerous Playgrounditis


For Mediastatial Germaphobia

The Onion News Network: Most Children Oppose Healthcare

June 24, 2008

A recent survey of children found that they are overwhelmingly opposed to increased doctor visits and vaccinations.

More coverage at: http://onion.com

Hillary Clinton apparently lost because she was a victim of sexism

June 14, 2008

It’s so fitting that this can be the only reason she lost. Of course it has nothing to do with her Bosnia flap, or that she seems so mechanical and uncharismatic.

I have a vision of the U.S…..a place where no matter your race or gender that you can run for President, and lose because people just simply didn’t like you or your policies. A nation where people look past your gender and see you for who you really are: a compulsive liar and opportunist that felt entitled to the Office from the time your spouse won in 1992. I feel like we’ve gotten closer……

Read story here

Johnny Depp and Tim Burton toy with interviewer

May 23, 2008

She did sort of get them started…but it seems as if she doesn’t realize they’re doing it.