Posts Tagged ‘Florida’

No McNuggets? Surely that’s a reason to call 911.

March 5, 2009

<sighs>

“I called 911 because I couldn’t get a refund, and I wanted my McNuggets,” according to the below Fort Pierce Police Department report. That logic, however, did not keep cops from citing Goodman for misusing the 911 system. Even after being issued a misdemeanor citation, Goodman contended, “this is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency.”

Listen to the 911 calls below.

Via The Smoking Gun

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Things you see in a grocery store parking lot: shopping carts, cars, 51 yr. old man making out with blow up dolls.

February 5, 2009

(plastic skanks in question)

George Bartusek was arrested for Disturbing the Peace when he was seen making out with plastic blow up dolls in a Publix grocery store parking lot.  This quote kind of sums it up:

“I’ve never seen anything like this. You know it happens behind closed doors, obviously. But in a public place, it’s no good,” said witness Phyllis Shepard.

Via MSNBC

Riviera Beach Police Having Arrested Every Violent Offender in City, Move On To Arresting Men Whose Pants Sag

September 12, 2008

Just kidding, I’m sure there’s probably several violent offenders with arrest warrants roaming Riviera Beach. But, dear residents, fear not, for your police department is protecting you from anyone that is showing between 2 to 5 inches of their underwear by sagging their pants. This very necessary ordinance was passed after several recent drive-by boxer showings that resulted in the deaths of 7 people. Those poor victims’ memory will be honored by Riviera Beach’s finest getting those dangerous pairs of underwear off the streets.

So far, 11 people have been arrested, and charged with a misdemeanor and face fines of up to $150.00. Repeat offenders could face up to 30 days in jail. Yes, this is your tax dollars at work. That’s some fine police work, Lou…….

I shouldn’t be too harsh on the police, they don’t make these asinine laws, but they will be the ones who will certainly face an even more hostile community as a result of enforcing the ordinance. Guess which racial group this law has affected the most so far? The collected mugshots of 8 of the 11 arrested men are shown below. What’s that ringing sound? I think it’s the ACLU.

Via The Smoking Gun

God Bless the American Entrepreneur!

September 12, 2008

An Orlando resident clearly saw the need for a 1-stop shopping experience for grapefruits, pitbull puppies, and babysitting services.  Diversification is where it’s at these days.

Via Boing Boing

Marijuana growhouse found in Miami’s Mall of America. Sharp increase in parents not only volunteering to drive kids to mall, but also sticking around much longer.

August 25, 2008

American ingenuity proudly on display.  I love entrepreneurs.  I bet the food court had been experiencing record sales as of late……

MIAMI — The Drug Enforcement Administration discovered something unexpected in the Mall of the Americas.

DEA agents found a hydroponics lab with more than 200 marijuana plants, standing 3 to 6 feet tall in the air and worth millions of dollars, in a storage area on the second floor of the mall.

Authorities said the electricity that powered the lab was diverted from the mall’s main power supply.

No arrests have been made. Authorities said officials with the Mall of the Americas are cooperating with the investigation.

You won’t take $0.02 for sex? Fine, I’ll throw in a lighter and a bicycle.

August 24, 2008

The Lee County Sheriff’s Office says a Bonita Springs man has been arrested after offering undercover deputy who was posing as a prostitute two cents for sex.

Fausino Diaz Hernandez, 46, has been charged with soliciting a prostitute. According to an arrest report, Hernandez offered a female undercover deputy two pennies on Thursday night. Acting Sgt. Matt Chitwood, of the narcotics and vice operations for the Bonita Springs Community Policing unit, said Hernandez offered the undercover deputy other things as well, including cigarette lighters and a bicycle. Hernandez’s arrest was part of a three-hour sting to crack down on prostitution in Bonita Springs. He was one of 10 men arrested during the sting.

Source

Tropical Storm Fay slams kite surfer into wall

August 19, 2008

Fort Lauderdale resident was in critical condition as of Tuesday after being slammed into a building by Tropical Storm Fay. Scary video.


Catfish out for a leisurely stroll in a Florida neighborhood. Dogfish chew up your slippers out of jealousy.

July 16, 2008

Apparently, some types of catfish can walk around on land as long as they stay moist.  Bizarre sounding, and even more bizarre looking.  Check out the video here.

Hike those sagging pants or you just might get shot

June 25, 2008

A Jacksonville man is accused of shooting an 18-year-old after telling him to pull his jeans up.

It happened about 7:15 p.m. Saturday at Cross Creek Apartments on Manotak Avenue. Police arrived to find the 54-year-old suspect standing next to the victim. The suspect had a gun in his waistband but kept his hands up for police.

Several witnesses told police the man followed David A. Mitchell into the courtyard from the pool telling him to pull his pants up. The two began to argue, and the younger man pushed the suspect before being shot in the stomach, according to the arrest report.

Mitchell, who was released from the hospital the same day, told the Times-Union Monday that the bullet is still in his side but the doctors say he’ll be fine. He said he had never seen the man and knew his shorts were sagging. He said he pulled them up, but the man said it wasn’t enough and just kept coming. So he pushed him off and tried to walk away.

John C. Constantin , who lives at the Westside apartments, was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. According to the arrest report, he told police it was self-defense after he was assaulted for telling Mitchell to pull his pants up.

Family reached at his home Monday offered their apologies and said Constantin was remorseful for what happened. He remains in jail on $100,000 bail.

Source

Question to those of you that might sag your pants? Exactly how low do you have pull them before you have the look you’re going for?

Schoolbus figure 8 racing rule #1: There are no rules. Rule #2: If there is any doubt, always refer to rule #1

June 21, 2008

“I really don’t want to drive, but I had my best friend O.D. this morning and my dad had a stroke, so now I’m driving.” Cheesewagon Derby documentary website.