Posts Tagged ‘Redneck’

Steve the Drunken Lawnmower Man Part Deux

February 2, 2009

Steve just can’t catch a break. He’s already been arrested driving drunk on his lawnmower once before. One would think Steve would learn his lesson. One would be wrong.

Special dedication to Vitamin E as she’s not only a huge fan of Steve the Drunken Lawnmower Man, but she also spent all day cleaning her basement after there was a sewage backup on her street.  Ewww…..

Steve the Drunken Lawnmower Man

January 29, 2009

“My wife said if I didn’t get her another beer, she was going to stab me in the face.”   Fair enough.

The Smoking Gun’s weekly mugshot roundup

November 16, 2008

Why are there so many of these tshirts with lettering in mugshots? My fellow caucasians, we can do better than this. Throw on a polo-shirt every once in awhile before you’re arrested, ok?  Stop dragging us all down.

More winners here.

Mom is drunk.

September 4, 2008

Proud son posts video of his mom on Youtube.

“Redneck video dating disaster” or “How to NOT win back your ex-girlfriend”

August 11, 2008

Perhaps this is a hoax? I really hope it’s not……so stinking funny. I don’t think Randy understands the concept of video dating. It sounds like he found out Janice, his ex-girlfriend, was using a video dating service to find new suitors. So, Randy did what we’d all do in his situation. He goes to the video dating service and makes a tape just describing Janice. Great intentions, but very, very poor execution.

Randy should’ve tried the Ex-Girlfriend Guru’s methods.

NSFW language.

Firing at a flat surface with a .50 caliber rifle is largely considered a bad idea

July 29, 2008

Let’s demonstrate why by watching this video.  This guy is extremely fortunate that he’s still alive. Watch carefully.

Beer for My Horses-all you need to know is that it stars Toby Keith AND Ted Nugent

July 22, 2008

Guns, explosions…more guns. Check out the promo poster.

Official Film website

Trailer…..less than 3 weeks to go. You were warned.

Waffle House wedding

July 16, 2008

It’s certainly original, no arguments there. Funny or Die has a slideshow from the wedding. Check them out here.

DACULA – As the famous twang of Hank Williams Jr. blasted from an SUV stereo Friday afternoon, about 30 folks socialized, sipped soda and puffed on cigarettes.

No, this wasn’t a Fourth of July backyard barbecue. It was the run-up to a wedding.

In a Waffle House parking lot.

The lucky couple, George “Bubba” Mathis and Pamela Christian – both 23 and employees at the Dacula diner located at the Ga. Highway 316/U.S. Highway 29 interchange – wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I don’t know, it’s something different,” Mathis said while fixing his tie prior to the ceremony.

For years, the couple tried to marry on their Independence Day anniversary. But the bride was always scheduled to work. Instead of waiting any longer – she got the day off at the last minute; Mathis had to report for the morning shift – the couple of nine years decided to seal the deal at work.

The result was what a NASCAR tailgate might be like if Hank Jr. himself stopped by with all his rowdy friends: Loud and proud – country music, storytelling and plenty of Dale Earnhardt paraphernalia – and not an iota of pretentiousness.

Shortly after exchanging vows under the shade of a tree next to the parking lot, both man and wife let out sighs of relief as they picked up their two little blonde girls and chatted with family and friends. But there was not time to relax – the wedding cake had to be cut inside.

“It’s been crazy, madness,” the bride said. “Finally, everything worked out.”

Standing nearby, the father of the newly minted Mrs. Pamela Mathis, William Christopher, wondered if anyone had videotaped the ceremony. He wants to send it in to CMT.

“I think it’s pretty redneck myself,” he said, laughing. “But I’m a redneck anyway, so.”

The couple plans to honeymoon Monday and Tuesday, but then it’s back to work.

The destination?

“I don’t know yet,” Mathis said.

Source

Redneck Banking

July 9, 2008

Obligatory summer story: Man charged with DUI while on riding lawnmower

June 25, 2008

NORTH POLE, Alaska – Alaska State Troopers used lights and sirens to apprehend a North Pole man suspected of driving under the influence after he allegedly led them on a slow-speed chase that covered several lawns.
Sunday’s pursuit lasted about 200 feet and reached speeds of up to 5 mph before a trooper got out of a cruiser and told the man to stop.

Troopers received a call early Sunday complaining of an intoxicated man driving a mower. They said Wyatt Lewis’s blood-alcohol content was 0.18 percent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08 percent.

Driving a lawnmower while drunk qualifies for a DUI charge. Lewis was also charged with failure to stop at the direction of a peace officer.

No phone number was listed for Lewis in North Pole and a message left with the Fairbanks Correctional Center on Tuesday was not immediately returned.

Source

“My wife said if I didn’t get her another beer she was going to stab me in the face.” Best DUI on a lawnmower EVER.