Posts Tagged ‘hillbilly’

Redneck Inventions

February 8, 2009

Budweiser, not necessity, is the mother of these inventions.

The Redneck Camper

camper

The Homemade Tree Swing

chair-swing

Redneck Wedding Dresses (probably not an invention, but I couldn’t pass these up)

wedding

Cooler Racing

cooler-race

The Modified Defroster

defroster

The Discus Throw

discus

The Motorcycle Transport

motorcycle-mover

The Motorcycle Sidecar

motorcycle-sidecar

Sent in by Vitamin E

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Steve the Drunken Lawnmower Man: The Final Act

February 3, 2009

Dear Steve the Drunken Lawnmower Man,

I want to thank you for the many laughs I have had watching you and your arrest video footage.  Some would condemn your first offense of driving a lawnmower while intoxicated, but I am not one of them.  And others, far more pious than I, would scold you for being arrested a second time for a lawnmower DUI.  I will not judge you for those crimes.  However, Steve, you get no sympathy from me for your final offense.  Just.  Plain.  Dumb.

Steve the Drunken Lawnmower Man Part Deux

February 2, 2009

Steve just can’t catch a break. He’s already been arrested driving drunk on his lawnmower once before. One would think Steve would learn his lesson. One would be wrong.

Special dedication to Vitamin E as she’s not only a huge fan of Steve the Drunken Lawnmower Man, but she also spent all day cleaning her basement after there was a sewage backup on her street.  Ewww…..

Steve the Drunken Lawnmower Man

January 29, 2009

“My wife said if I didn’t get her another beer, she was going to stab me in the face.”   Fair enough.

Mom is drunk.

September 4, 2008

Proud son posts video of his mom on Youtube.

“Redneck video dating disaster” or “How to NOT win back your ex-girlfriend”

August 11, 2008

Perhaps this is a hoax? I really hope it’s not……so stinking funny. I don’t think Randy understands the concept of video dating. It sounds like he found out Janice, his ex-girlfriend, was using a video dating service to find new suitors. So, Randy did what we’d all do in his situation. He goes to the video dating service and makes a tape just describing Janice. Great intentions, but very, very poor execution.

Randy should’ve tried the Ex-Girlfriend Guru’s methods.

NSFW language.

Beer for My Horses-all you need to know is that it stars Toby Keith AND Ted Nugent

July 22, 2008

Guns, explosions…more guns. Check out the promo poster.

Official Film website

Trailer…..less than 3 weeks to go. You were warned.

Obligatory summer story: Man charged with DUI while on riding lawnmower

June 25, 2008

NORTH POLE, Alaska – Alaska State Troopers used lights and sirens to apprehend a North Pole man suspected of driving under the influence after he allegedly led them on a slow-speed chase that covered several lawns.
Sunday’s pursuit lasted about 200 feet and reached speeds of up to 5 mph before a trooper got out of a cruiser and told the man to stop.

Troopers received a call early Sunday complaining of an intoxicated man driving a mower. They said Wyatt Lewis’s blood-alcohol content was 0.18 percent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08 percent.

Driving a lawnmower while drunk qualifies for a DUI charge. Lewis was also charged with failure to stop at the direction of a peace officer.

No phone number was listed for Lewis in North Pole and a message left with the Fairbanks Correctional Center on Tuesday was not immediately returned.

Source

“My wife said if I didn’t get her another beer she was going to stab me in the face.” Best DUI on a lawnmower EVER.

Actual headline: Arkansas Man Arrested for Kidnapping, Beating Mother Over Death of Pet Skunk

June 25, 2008

Original story

VAN BUREN, Ark. — A man accused of assaulting and tying up his mother because he was reportedly mad about the death of his pet skunk has been arrested in Waldron, authorities said.

Authorities say 35-year-old Scott Tolles Sullivan was arrested early Saturday in Waldron. He is being held without bail in Van Buren. Authorities say he hid from police in an attic and was arrested after police shot him with a bean bag gun.

Sullivan’s mother, 56-year-old Maria Sullivan, called police Wednesday night after freeing herself from duct tape and rope, authorities said. Maria Sullivan told police that her son became upset when he learned that her dog killed his pet skunk.

According to police, Sullivan said her son hit her with a homemade club and tied her up. She says Scott Sullivan also tied up a 14-year-old disabled boy who is under her care.

Scott Sullivan was arrested on suspicion of two counts of kidnapping and domestic battery.

Schoolbus figure 8 racing rule #1: There are no rules. Rule #2: If there is any doubt, always refer to rule #1

June 21, 2008

“I really don’t want to drive, but I had my best friend O.D. this morning and my dad had a stroke, so now I’m driving.” Cheesewagon Derby documentary website.