Posts Tagged ‘the onion news network’

“Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny’s”

June 10, 2009

The Onion News Network scoops the competition once again.

Obama will abandon complex policies on emissions, clean coal and refocus on achievable goals like applying deodorant daily, learning what to say when you burp.

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More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas

April 23, 2009

The Onion News Network reports on this new employment trend.

NCAA Expands March Madness to 4096 teams

March 10, 2009

Now that’s some serious madness.

Are Violent Video Games Preparing Kids for the Apocalypse?

March 2, 2009

Certainly worthy of discussion.  The Onion News Network is on it….

Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards for Skanks?

February 10, 2009

The Onion News Network assembles panelists to discuss  how shows like “Flavor of Love” are impacting the self-esteem of skanks across the nation.  A few NSFW words.

Balloonist who crossed U.S. won’t shut up about the abuse of horses.

January 12, 2009

Another hard-hitting report from The Onion News Network. Ballooning should be fun, but this guy just keeps going on and on about the abuse of horses……

Attractive Girls Union refuses to talk with Mike Greenman

January 4, 2009

Hard-hitting coverage from The Onion News Network.  Mike Greenman isn’t making any inroads with the Attractive Girls Union (AGU).  Footage and analysis from the press conference.  1 NSFW word around the 3:00 mark.  Very funny stuff.

YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A ‘Good’ Video

November 19, 2008

The Onion News Network brings the exclusive news of an exciting Youtube contest that will award $100,000.00 to the winner. Details below.

Historic upset: Voting machines elect one of their own!

November 4, 2008

Obama and McCain already filing lawsuits as voting machines elect DRE700 as the first machine president in U.S. history. Bring on Skynet!

Forgetting the reason for the season: Has Halloween been over-commercialized?

October 30, 2008

The Onion News Network explores an emotional topic.

Panelists discuss whether Halloween candy and costumes have distracted us from placating demons to ensure a bountiful harvest.