Posts Tagged ‘prom’

Redneck Prom

June 12, 2008

We got a good response to both Ghetto Prom, and Oompa-Loompa (Guido) Prom so we thought we’d continue the prom theme. Hope you enjoy today’s submission: Redneck Prom. Thanks to our readers who tipped us off to these pics. As always feel free to add your own captions in the comment field.

1. What may appear obvious to you and I, will probably take these 6 young ladies years to realize.

2. Stretch Chevy seats 12 plus a still.

3. No face, no taste.

4. I know I’ve been married for awhile when I notice how nobody matches before I spot the Confederate flag.

5. Now this is a very, very important specimen. It would seem that we have achieved successful cross-breeding between a guido and a redneck. This has happened before in specific environments; prison, the Army, but it is very rare in regular society. This certainly demands follow-up.

6. I’m guessing her family recently won the lottery or finally received a cash settlement from that highly questionable accident which cost her momma her pinky.

Ghetto Prom

June 9, 2008

I found an old email I received sometime back. Timeless.

**Editor’s note** We’d love to feature some redneck stuff here, too. We ran a Oompa-Loompa (guido) feature last week, but we’d love to move the focus to our fine southern friends. If you have a link drop us a a line, or leave a comment and we’ll get back to you.

Feel free to submit your own captions in the Comment section.

1. Earth, Water, and Fire-the actual elements, not the band.

2. This one befuddles me.

3. Part bikini, part beach umbrella, all good.

4. An example of what happens when you pay $5k for your rims and tires; unable to pay for your date’s dress….well, all of it at least.

5. Somewhere a stripped-down living room set sits alone.

6. NBA players relegated to attending high school proms to avoid violence/arrest.

7. One of the least obvious elements to this picture is the mismatching of athletic sneakers with formal-wear. For shame!

8. Flaunt them while you can, I suppose.

9. This is not “The Answer” to any question.

10. For the fashionable, yet pregnant, high school prom guest.

11. While vinyl shower curtains will certainly deflect punch, I doubt it breathes.

12. She wanted a “safe” date, he wanted someone to try his latest design. Everybody wins.

13. Bad fashion sense knows no color barriers.

14. Umm….uh…..<shudders>

15. Inspired by Ice Cube’s “Ghetto Bird” from his album, “Lethal Injection”

**YourDailyChum.com Exclusive** Civil Rights Breakthrough!!! Oompa Loompas allowed to attend high school prom!

June 5, 2008

Singing in in unison with very high-pitched voices, “We shall overcome, we shall overcome.” It is truly a great day for oompa loompas everywhere!

The above gentle…”men?” can be found on Guidofistpump.com a hilarious website all about Guidos.

**(Editor’s Note) We frequently highlight douchebags here. To clear up any confusion, it’s important to note that the label douchebag is a sort of umbrella term. All Guidos are douchebags, yes, but not all douchebags are guidos. We apologize for any confusion we may have caused**

In case your’e not familiar with Guidos, check out a quick summary, which can be found at UrbanDictionary.com.

A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area.

WARDROBE: tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains, and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear.

NATURAL HABITAT: Known to frequent Tri-State area malls looking for club gear to waste their week’s pay on (most likely spotted shopping at “Bang Bang” in Staten Island). During the day when not at their food delivery, telemarketting, or construction job, can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. Can be found nightly at mainstream danceclubs they read about online (SF, Webster Hall, Etc.). Most notable for cruising the Jersey shore in an old car (Honda, Mustang, etc.) which has been tinted, painted and sports $1,000-$3,000 rims in a feeble attempt to look like new. Guido cars usually have a boomin’ system through which cheesy music like freestyle, commercial club/trance and hip-hop (anything KTU plays) is loudly blasted.

PASSTIMES/RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES: Guidos enjoy beating up a non-white or homosexual while assisted by a group of 5-10 guido friends backing them up; engaging in date rape; and displaying their lack of rhythm by dancing poorly in the middle of a club’s dance floor while non-guidos look on in disbelief.

Here’s a video summary that should bring you up to speed as well. NSFW language.

And, here’s some authentic Guido dancing. I believe it’s a dance to Spikeura, god of hairgel/roofies.