Posts Tagged ‘Pervert’

Why does local news always suck?–Man arrested for having sex with vacuum in car wash

October 21, 2008

(Recreated picture of the alleged menage a trois)

Mad props to Jon for sending this and the headline which I blatantly ripped off.

THOMAS TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) – Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after “receiving sexual favors from a vacuum” at a car wash.

The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County’s Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act.

The suspect, whose name wasn’t immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw County Jail.


Bikini Barista Throws Scalding Water at Pervert

August 21, 2008

Touch yourself inappropriately while wearing women’s underwear in the drive through of a coffee stand twice, shame on me. Expose yourself a third time, shame on…oh forget it, THAT’S A SCALDING!

Cro-Magnon charged with both publicly displaying porn and vandalizing caves with graffiti

July 14, 2008

Times are tough with both his Geico commercials no longer airing and the cancellation of his ABC TV show.

DENNIS TWP., N.J. – July 10, 2008 (WPVI) — New Jersey State Police have filed charges against a man who allegedly used his car as a rolling pornography display.

Police say 47-year old Robert Joseph Martin of Cape May Court House parked his car at the Ocean View service area of the Garden State Parkway and deliberately left pornographic materials on the car’s dashboard and seats.

Officials say among the items left in the 1989 Lincoln were magazines, sexually-explicit music discs, women’s panties on a platter, and a naked Barbie doll.

Police arrested Martin Wednesday morning.

They say they had been getting complaints from motorists over the past few weeks.

Martin is free on $5,000 bail.


Funniest headline ever

June 16, 2008

Man squeezed more than Charmin in local grocery store, police say

A Stafford County man was squeezing more than Charmin Friday in a North Stafford grocery store, police said.

Sheriff’s Maj. David Decatur said the suspect, 51-year-old Kenneth Lawrence Green, is accused of grabbing at least two women’s buttocks in the Shopper’s Food Warehouse in Stafford Marketplace.

Green was placed in the Rappahannock Regional Jail under a $1,000 bond after being charged with assault and battery.

According to Decatur, the assaults occurred about 1 p.m. The known victims were 49 and 57.

One victim said she was shopping when she felt someone grab the lower part of her buttocks. She looked up and saw Green next to her, police said.

A few minutes later, Decatur said, the same thing happened to the same woman and police were called.

Green was still in the store when deputies arrived and was taken into custody. During the investigation, police learned there was a second victim.

Several witnesses observed the improper touching, Decatur said.