I miss football already: NFL Fantasy Files-The Best Players

The 1st NFL game is only 6 months away.  <sigh>

Sent in by Gordo the Madden Extraordinaire.

Fox’s NFL Robot has gone too far.

I hate that Robot.

Tattooing “0-16” on your chest will definitely prove you’re not a fair-weather fan of the Detroit Lions.

I love the Detroit Lions, but this is just…uh…….huh. I think the misery that’s associated with following the Lions has done some permanent damage to this young man.

Hitler expresses his love/hatred for the Detroit Lions

Funny. NSFW sub-titles.

New England Patriots receiver Wes Welker gets light up 3 weeks before Christmas.

Ouch.

John Madden….errr…Frank Caliendo on football and turkey

On The Lates Show with Dave Letterman.  Frank comes out in character.

Touchdown celebrations have gone too far

Ugh…this is like the And-1 Mixtape of football.  To paraphrase Lou Holtz: upon scoring a touchdown, “Act like you’ve been there before.”

As a Detroit Lions fan, sometimes petty theft between players is the only highlight to our season.

Alleged perp Tatum Bell

Rudi on Bell: ‘Shyster, conniving stuff’
by Tom Kowalski

While the Detroit Lions organization might not have anything to say about the bizarre incident surrounding former running back Tatum Bell, current Lions running back Rudi Johnson had plenty to say.

According to Johnson, Bell took two of Johnson’s duffel bags from the Lions locker room on Monday and, when they were returned by another party on Tuesday, almost everything was missing.

“Underwear, socks, credit cards and money. He left my money clip with no money in it,” said Johnson, adding that about $200 was missing. “He should’ve taken the clip, too. It’s quite stupid if you ask me.”

Bell was not available for comment and his agent could not be reached.

Johnson was signed by the Lions on Monday and then the Lions released Tatum Bell. Johnson said he didn’t know who took his duffel bags until he saw a surveillance tape from inside the Lions facility. He said he saw Bell take his bags.

“All of this happened after he got released and came in and got some stuff out of his locker,” Johnson said. “That’s when he scooped the bags up, some real shyster, conniving stuff.”

Johnson said he would not involve the police.

Victim: Rudi Johnson

“I’m not going to the police for this one,” he said. “I don’t need anybody else, I can handle it.”

Johnson left his duffel bags in the Lions locker room on Monday and went upstairs to talk to Lions president Matt Millen. When Johnson returned to the locker room, the bags were missing. He and Millen searched the building for the bags but couldn’t find them.

On Tuesday, after speaking to reporters — when he recounted a pleasant conversation he had had with Bell — Johnson saw the videotape. An unidentified woman apparently returned the bags to the Lions offices and Johnson then confronted Bell.

“He tried to make up some excuse, he tried to blame it on somebody else so I didn’t try to entertain something that didn’t make any sense,” Johnson said. “He tried to make up an excuse. He said some girl had got it and took it to somebody’s house. The story didn’t make any sense so I didn’t pay it any attention.

“He knows how I feel about it, trust me. He knows how I feel about it and it’s nothing positive. He said it was a mixup. It is what it is.”

The Lions had issued a statement earlier in the day on Wednesday saying the club would have no comment on the situation.

From MLive.com

From the Bureau of Made-Up Statistics: Fantasy Football to cost employers $9.2 Billion this fall.

In grad school, I had classes in Statistics, Data Analysis, and Research Methodology. The study below is a classic example of bad research. (Emphasis mine)

“CHICAGO, Aug. 18 (UPI) — Fantasy football will cost U.S. employers $9.2 billion in lost work time this season, a private research group said. (Big scary conclusion to get you reading)

Business researchers Challenger, Gray & Christmas said Monday the 17-week National Football League schedule will subtract 1.19 hours of productivity per week from about 17 million Americans who participate.

Using salaries information supplied by the Fantasy Sports Association, the average fantasy footballer earns $80,000 per year with 70 percent of the participants earning between $50,000 and $149,000. (Faulty data source as well as totally exaggerated income statistics. Do you really think 7 out of 10 fantasy football players earn between $50 and 150k/yr? Maybe I only know poor people…)

That amounts to an average loss of $45.22 per week per player, Challenger, Gray & Christmas said. (This figure is accurate, given their faulty source data)

“Most employers understand that not every minute of the day is dedicated to work. In fact, in today’s 24-7 global economy, it is likely that work bleeds into our personal lives,” said Chief Executive Officer John Challenger.

Clearly, 17 million workers sacked is unlikely, but Challenger advocated for leaving well enough alone.

“Managers should only crack down on those whose work is clearly suffering from the added distraction. An across-the-board ban on all fantasy football or sports Web sites could backfire in the form of reduced morale and loyalty,” he said. (Ok, this part they got right. Increased productivity would likely hurt my fantasy team and then I’d be in a pissy mood even more often and might take 2 donuts from the breakroom on Fridays instead of 1, and then everyone would be annoyed. Like I need an extra donut….but damn I love fantasy football. If only I wasn’t terrible at it. Did I mention I love donuts?) From UPI

Now, to bolster your shot at winning this year, make sure to have a guy like the one in the video on your team. Championship!

Top 10 NFL runs of the year

I miss football. What stinks about this list: of course, no highlights by a Lions’ running back. What’s great about this list: #1 run is against the Chicago Bears.

He could…go…all..the….way!