Posts Tagged ‘New York’

Dancing midget Michael Jackson

August 26, 2008

I can’t believe I just typed that.

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Stripping down to your underwear and running away: the new method of avoiding a simple traffic violation

July 20, 2008

Erie County Sheriff’s deputies were left scratching their heads Saturday after a man pulled over for a routine traffic stop on Grand Island suddenly ripped off his clothes and ran away.

At 8:41 a.m., a deputy pulled over the motorist on Grand Island Boulevard near Staley Road.

The driver, whose name was being withheld by authorities, inexplicably stripped down to his underpants and ran away on foot.

Sheriff’s deputies began a search for the man and were assisted by a U.S. Customs and Border Patrol helicopter. They were still searching for the man Saturday afternoon.

Deputies couldn’t understand why the man fled. They said he was facing only petty traffic violations.

Source

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said a 1000 times: Don’t try to domesticate a rattlesnake you find in your yard

July 13, 2008

BLOOMING GROVE — A 69-year-old man was bitten Thursday by a timber rattlesnake that he was keeping as a pet, police said.
Guy Gravenson was airlifted to Jacobi Medical Center in New York City from his home in Mountain Lodge Park. Jacobi was the closest hospital with anti-venom, Blooming Grove police said. Gravenson’s status was not immediately available. Police said he was vomiting blood when they arrived at his home, an effect of the snake’s toxic venom. Gravenson kept the snake in a glass fish tank, and was bitten while handling it around 1 p.m.
A snake handler captured the snake and released it into the wild. Timber rattlesnakes are indigenous here, especially in mountainous regions. It’s illegal to kill or handle them without a state permit.
Adam Bosch

Source

NY Mets manager’s coaching philosophy: Always carry a blade

June 19, 2008

“I told him next time he does that I’m going to get my blade out and cut him. I’m a gangster. You go gangster on me, I’m going to have to get you. You do that again, I’m going to cut you right on the field,” quipped Manuel

Read the rest of the hilarity.

**YourDailyChum.com Exclusive** Civil Rights Breakthrough!!! Oompa Loompas allowed to attend high school prom!

June 5, 2008

Singing in in unison with very high-pitched voices, “We shall overcome, we shall overcome.” It is truly a great day for oompa loompas everywhere!

The above gentle…”men?” can be found on Guidofistpump.com a hilarious website all about Guidos.

**(Editor’s Note) We frequently highlight douchebags here. To clear up any confusion, it’s important to note that the label douchebag is a sort of umbrella term. All Guidos are douchebags, yes, but not all douchebags are guidos. We apologize for any confusion we may have caused**

In case your’e not familiar with Guidos, check out a quick summary, which can be found at UrbanDictionary.com.

A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area.

WARDROBE: tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains, and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear.

NATURAL HABITAT: Known to frequent Tri-State area malls looking for club gear to waste their week’s pay on (most likely spotted shopping at “Bang Bang” in Staten Island). During the day when not at their food delivery, telemarketting, or construction job, can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. Can be found nightly at mainstream danceclubs they read about online (SF, Webster Hall, Etc.). Most notable for cruising the Jersey shore in an old car (Honda, Mustang, etc.) which has been tinted, painted and sports $1,000-$3,000 rims in a feeble attempt to look like new. Guido cars usually have a boomin’ system through which cheesy music like freestyle, commercial club/trance and hip-hop (anything KTU plays) is loudly blasted.

PASSTIMES/RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES: Guidos enjoy beating up a non-white or homosexual while assisted by a group of 5-10 guido friends backing them up; engaging in date rape; and displaying their lack of rhythm by dancing poorly in the middle of a club’s dance floor while non-guidos look on in disbelief.

Here’s a video summary that should bring you up to speed as well. NSFW language.

And, here’s some authentic Guido dancing. I believe it’s a dance to Spikeura, god of hairgel/roofies.