Guido androgyny

What the hell is going on in New Jersey these days?

Via The Chive

2008 Douchies-See the biggest Douchebags of 2008

From one of our favorite blogs, Hot Chicks with Douchebags, comes the 2008 Douchies. These awards highlight the biggest douchebags of 2008. Here’s just a small sampling, and be sure to check out the full list at Hot Chicks with Douchebags, a must read for everyone looking for a good laugh.

**Warning:  Doctors draw a strong parallel between staring at the sun and staring at these douchebags; while both may cause blindness, only these douchebags can transfer STD’s with their gaze.  You’ve been warned.**

Hot Chick with Douchebag of the Year:The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott

Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver: Mouth-Shirt Ab Reveal

Douchiest Facial Hair: The Blowfish

Orangest Orange: Millenium ‘Bag

Full list of awards here.

Newark, New Jersey cop chokes photographer while photographer is cuffed. Photographer’s “crime”? Filming on a public sidewalk.

Newark, NJ cop apparently forgets about the First Amendment as he arrests cameraman for filming.  In broad daylight.  On a public street.  I’m sure this is an isolated incident.

More on this story here.

Hot Chicks with Douchebags-Life choices

Shelly’s Poor Life Choice

Somewhere, deep within her primordial subconscious, Shelly suddenly senses that she may have made a poor life choice.

We here at Your Daily Chum are huge fans of one of the funniest blogs on the internet, Hot Chicks with Douchebags. Bags combines some of the best elements of a blog: user-submitted content, snarky writing and comments, and an unabashed desire to expose douchebaggery everywhere. (the last part is kind of easy as douchebags, like telemarketers, are seemingly without shame and thus they practical beg to be found)

Check out Hot Chicks with Douchebags as they update their content almost daily.

Guido catches transformer exploding, episode of The Sopranos on cable.

NSFW language.  This would’ve been pretty cool to see live.

“Pussy Galore”…how Fox News covers the story of a 44 lb. cat

Good lord those Fox news women are almost unbearable to listen to.  But, here’s the story of Princess Chunk, a 44 lb. cat from southern New Jersey.  That’s a fat cat.  Watch the label change around the 0:17 second mark.  Fox News…..oh, what’s the point….

Jersey nightclub bans overweight women

Source

Havana’s, a popular nightclub on the New Jersey shoreline (oh crap, where is this going?), decided to not allow some big girls in their club last week in his club. Club manager Martin Sayers said he’d had numerous complaints from other customers about the number of overweight women frequenting his club. So, he decided to ban them, but allowed overweight men to come into the club.

Naturally, this pissed a few people off, so their natural reaction was to form a Facebook group, “Stop Havana Club Discrimination.” They’re planning a protest this Friday……

Me personally, if I was refused entry, I probably wouldn’t want to go back there. I certainly wouldn’t be marching to be allowed back in…….Like it or not, it’s a private club, so the management can refuse entry to pretty much anyone they want. If it’s a real problem, a smart entrepreneur would open up a club catering to bigger ladies…..

You know what, screw that ladies. Watch this video below taken at Neptunes in Long Island. You’re doing yourself a favor by not going.

Ok, ok, I know, they’re not in Jersey, so I’m sure it’s totally different there. Let’s ask these gentleman in the next clip.  NSFW language.

Cro-Magnon charged with both publicly displaying porn and vandalizing caves with graffiti

Times are tough with both his Geico commercials no longer airing and the cancellation of his ABC TV show.

DENNIS TWP., N.J. – July 10, 2008 (WPVI) — New Jersey State Police have filed charges against a man who allegedly used his car as a rolling pornography display.

Police say 47-year old Robert Joseph Martin of Cape May Court House parked his car at the Ocean View service area of the Garden State Parkway and deliberately left pornographic materials on the car’s dashboard and seats.

Officials say among the items left in the 1989 Lincoln were magazines, sexually-explicit music discs, women’s panties on a platter, and a naked Barbie doll.

Police arrested Martin Wednesday morning.

They say they had been getting complaints from motorists over the past few weeks.

Martin is free on $5,000 bail.

Source

You can never go wrong with “Hot Chicks with Douchebags”

Oompa Loompa in da club, y’all! Fake tan: ck. Multiple-belts: ck. Sagging pants: ck. Pulling up own shirt to reveal abs: super bonus. With all those holes in his jeans, though, where does he make sure he doesn’t drop his roofies? Thanks to our friends at HotChicksWithDouchebags.com

F.O.O.L.S. (Friends of Oompa Loompas Society) has its first ever chapter meeting.**YourDailyChum.com Exclusive**

As we mentioned in our story about Oompa Loompas being allowed to attend a high school prom, Oompa Loompas everywhere are riding a wave of enthusiasm and hope as society’s barriers continue to fall for the once maligned orange-skinned people. Excitement was in the air as the nation’s first chapter of F.O.O.L.S (Friends of Oompa Loompas Society) had its opening meeting last night at (name withheld by request of owner), a local restaurant in New York City. While turnout did not meet expectations, F.O.O.L.S president and charter member, Jessica Scrote de Amor, said she was pleased that a restaurant agreed to host the event.

“The fact that (name withheld by request of owner) proudly hosted this event shows how far we Oompa Loompas have come. Considering the discrimination we’ve faced in the past, the treatment we’ve received here shows that more and more people are becoming F.O.O.L.S.”

John D. Bag, pictured above, wasn’t as enthusiastic about the meeting, eventually admitting that he and his girlfriend, pictured above, opposite John, had literally, stumbled upon the F.O.O.L.S. meeting.

“Dude, we were drunk off our asses that night. We heard this high-pitched voice singing Nickelback in the back room,” Bag said. He continued, “We walked in thinking we could do some karaoke and hit a helium tank. Out of nowhere this orange freak comes at us, snapping pictures. We tried to get away, but she offered us chocolate and candy to pose for pictures with us. I eventually figured out she was an Oompa Loompa. Those freaks scare me, man.”

Thanks to our friends at HotChickswithDouchebags.com for providing us with this news tip.