Posts Tagged ‘high school’

The best reason for a detention EVER.

June 23, 2009

Michael Scott is smiling somewhere…..

Via The Chive

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Best buzzer beater of 2009

January 29, 2009

Shot made with only .5 seconds left on the clock.

Viva El Pye, certainly the lead Chum contributor of 2009.

Girl highschool basketball player dominates

June 24, 2008

I know this is a few months, old, but a reader just brought this to my attention. Brittney Griner, a Houston junior has already committed to Baylor University. Here are her stats from the game in question.

2 dunks
29 points
11 blocks
13 rebounds
9 assist

Now, here’s an interview with Brittney and her coach. Ok, it’s great she has skills. My question is this: does anyone else think her testosterone level might just be a wee bit elevated? I mean, when they finally did a one on one interview with her a certain Austin Powers scene came to memory. Are there any former East German athletic coaches that have emigrated to the Houston area? Seriously, what’s the medical explanation for her masculine voice/features?

High school baseball turns ugly, ump gets (allegedly) intentionally beaned.

June 19, 2008

from ESPN.com

You’ve heard of Kill the Ump, Lynch the Ump, and Strangle the Ump, right? Well, get ready for the latest thing—Bean the Ump.

It happened on May 31 in the Georgia high school Class AAA championship game. Stephens County was losing to Cartersville 9-1 early, partly because nine straight SCHS batters had struck out. The last ring-up so hacked off superstar shortstop Ethan Martin—who had just been drafted 15th overall by the Dodgers—that he threw his helmet in protest. But that figured. Martin and his brother, Cody, who was pitching, reportedly had been complaining about balls and strikes the entire game.

So now it’s the bottom of the fourth, with Ethan playing short and Cody on the mound. The catcher is Matt Hill. There are no outs. The count is 0-1. Cody winds up and flings a very high, very hard fastball. Hill comes out of his squat, puts his glove up to catch it, then does a very funny thing.

He doesn’t.

Instead, the YouTube video will show, he drops to his knees before the ball gets to him. Doesn’t even try to catch it. Just flops to his knees, with his head looking down at the plate. Never looks up or back. The ball, meanwhile, conks umpire Jeff Scott square in the face mask. Rocks him back. Then squirts up the third-base line.

Scott Singer, who videotaped the game from behind the plate, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, “I don’t know what was going through their heads but … it’s like, good god!” After the game, Hill explained that he’d been expecting a curveball, instead got a fastball and just didn’t catch it.

Yeah, surrrre. I used to catch a little. Happens all the time. You’re expecting a curveball and instead you get a fastball so you say, “Boy, didn’t see that coming. I’ll just drop to my knees and wait for the next one.”

What’s worse is that Hill’s coach, Mark Gosnell, believed him! Right, Coach. And remember that time you found the school mascot tied up in a locker with a sock in his mouth? That was definitely terrorists.

If indeed this was premeditated—take a look for yourself and decide—then maybe Cody Martin should be drafted too. Say what you want, but that’s pretty good aim.

**YourDailyChum.com Exclusive** Civil Rights Breakthrough!!! Oompa Loompas allowed to attend high school prom!

June 5, 2008

Singing in in unison with very high-pitched voices, “We shall overcome, we shall overcome.” It is truly a great day for oompa loompas everywhere!

The above gentle…”men?” can be found on Guidofistpump.com a hilarious website all about Guidos.

**(Editor’s Note) We frequently highlight douchebags here. To clear up any confusion, it’s important to note that the label douchebag is a sort of umbrella term. All Guidos are douchebags, yes, but not all douchebags are guidos. We apologize for any confusion we may have caused**

In case your’e not familiar with Guidos, check out a quick summary, which can be found at UrbanDictionary.com.

A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area.

WARDROBE: tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains, and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear.

NATURAL HABITAT: Known to frequent Tri-State area malls looking for club gear to waste their week’s pay on (most likely spotted shopping at “Bang Bang” in Staten Island). During the day when not at their food delivery, telemarketting, or construction job, can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. Can be found nightly at mainstream danceclubs they read about online (SF, Webster Hall, Etc.). Most notable for cruising the Jersey shore in an old car (Honda, Mustang, etc.) which has been tinted, painted and sports $1,000-$3,000 rims in a feeble attempt to look like new. Guido cars usually have a boomin’ system through which cheesy music like freestyle, commercial club/trance and hip-hop (anything KTU plays) is loudly blasted.

PASSTIMES/RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES: Guidos enjoy beating up a non-white or homosexual while assisted by a group of 5-10 guido friends backing them up; engaging in date rape; and displaying their lack of rhythm by dancing poorly in the middle of a club’s dance floor while non-guidos look on in disbelief.

Here’s a video summary that should bring you up to speed as well. NSFW language.

And, here’s some authentic Guido dancing. I believe it’s a dance to Spikeura, god of hairgel/roofies.