Posts Tagged ‘drunks’

Steve the Drunken Lawnmower Man: The Final Act

February 3, 2009

Dear Steve the Drunken Lawnmower Man,

I want to thank you for the many laughs I have had watching you and your arrest video footage.  Some would condemn your first offense of driving a lawnmower while intoxicated, but I am not one of them.  And others, far more pious than I, would scold you for being arrested a second time for a lawnmower DUI.  I will not judge you for those crimes.  However, Steve, you get no sympathy from me for your final offense.  Just.  Plain.  Dumb.

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Being loaded and forcibly kissing other attorneys is no way to go through life, son. Err..sorry, judge.

January 14, 2009

judy

You’re a real f***wit, drunk judge tells lawyer
by ROSS MCGUINNESS – Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A drunk district judge was thrown out of a courtroom after she forcibly kissed a solicitor and swore at a prosecutor.

Esther Cunningham drank brandy before appearing as a solicitor to represent her cousin in a dangerous dog case.

She told an usher to ‘f*** off’ and called the CPS lawyer ‘a f***wit’, the Solicitors’ Disciplinary Tribunal heard.

Six months later, the 54-year-old was drunk when she taught students on a legal course, the tribunal heard.

Cunningham, of Grantham, Lincolnshire, accepted she had a drink problem and blamed it on personal problems.

She admitted bringing her profession into disrepute two years ago and was suspended for six months with £6,200 costs.

Via Metro

When you’re too drunk to go to work, don’t post that fact on Facebook.

October 27, 2008

Learn from the example of Kyle Doyle, a 21 yr. old young man who just doesn’t understand how to cut out of work. Kyle decided to have a few too many drinks one night recently and got trashed. He subsequently informed his employer that he would be staying home from work for medical reasons. The scene was playing out like it does all over the world until young Kyle made a stupid, stupid error. He posted the following line as his Facebook status:

‘not going to work, f*** it i’m still trashed SICKIE WOO.’

I’m not sure what “SICKIE WOO” means, but I’m guessing Kyle was praying to his deity of choice for relief from the drink. Please read below to see when it gets fun and Kyle learns the value of discretion. The following is the exchange with his HR rep when Kyle tried to have his leave processed.

The full exchange:

HR: Please provide a medical certificate stating a valid reason for your sick leave on Thursday 21st2008.

Kyle: “1 day leave absences do not require a medical certificate as stated in my contract, provided I have stated that I am on leave for medical reasons.”

HR: Usually that is the case, as per your contract. However please note that leave during these occasions is only granted for genuine medical reasons. You line manager has determined that your leave was not due to medical reasons and as such we cannot grant leave on this occasion.

Kyle: My leave was due to medical reasons, so you cannot deny leave based on a line manager’s discretion, with no proof, please process leave as requested.

HR:I believe the proof that you are after is below (a screen grab of the Facebook page is attached to the email).

The company announced it was launching an investigation.

Via The Daily Mail